So this wasn't what I had in mind when I promised a blog post. And part of me is worried. See, I don't want this prayer to be void. So if you make it to the end and still have the gumption, please don't praise it. If it leads you to gratitude, then give it back to Him. I'm not doing this word of the year for anything but the furtherance of my glorious slavery to Jesus.
During the fall semester of 2013, I had the immense privilege to take a topics in poetry class on Faith and Doubt. It was one of the most impactful and encouraging courses I have ever taken, and is one of the few reasons why I dare post what I have prayed here. While I truly love crafting poetry, this was not for that purpose. It was simply an outpouring of His heavenly rain; and as such can only contain what this little rainbucket can gather, nothing more.
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Oh LORD, how sweet it is that I started this little booklet not knowing what to pray, looking to words, and poetry, and knowledge to light the way. But all I needed was a little temporary affliction to be reminded of my great and complete fall.
Come closer, LORD, do not retreat;
Your presence is my life, my breath, my sweet
nectar of hope and love and
death, coverin, replacing this corpse
of flesh. Thank You
for all You did last year -
What a great multitude of things to hear!
To be sure, that movement and stalling,
faith and doubting decision - it was to
me a cure for fear of failure, for I broke.
There was no way out; because I could not
choke on all You
had done and continue to do, without
getting on my knees, my hands, my larynx
too. How beautiful! How radiant!
No matter
what You do I am expectant
of Your lovingkindness and Your truth.
I look forward to this new year loosely -
For if I look too close, I lose
the chance to catch
glimmers
of Your gaze
and smoke.
Heart, beat faster for Your LORD!
Soul, keep time and obey toward
the day, the day
when You come again our way
in the flesh, in the clouds, in glory, glory
humblesness.
Oh, teach Your church to need
even when the seed is planted
with machinery, and every mouth
feeds
on the works of unholiness, idolatry and hurt.
Nourish us according to Your Word.
Truly make us hungry for that
righteousness and curd,
made from the bile of affliction, the suffering
of loss, let us toss aside our burdens so
that we may bear Your cross. Oh
come! Come, Emmanuel and see!
The righetous You have planted like a firm
and fertile tree! Bring
fruit, O Spirit full. Bring life and from
us pull our pockets
and our posies, our ashes and our wishes,
even pull our teeth, or perhaps those
dishes that remind us of our need,
our appetite and provision. Replace
it all with You, O
LORD cast Your vision of
single,
pure,
whole-hearted love. Lighten
dove to the Master's call.
Sit, Wit.
Silence, you Pit of filthy
viper-lies and idols-guise.
Relay
Nothing
but white noise, and let us tune.
Filter the filth till we make
room for the temple of the nations,
the bright and holy Light, the glory
of the Father, the intent
and pure Design.
Oh, sit.
Oh, steer.
Oh, steep.
Oh, peer.
For our God is amazing; let Him
take your breath -
I promise with my death that
you won't want it
back.
Thank You for Your mercies; thank
You for Your fear, that makes
me tremble for You, the
greatest throne to hear praise
unending
with Seraphim and harp.
The King most holy, the untwinable
rope, a braid of surety,
a golden vine.
Dress, and redress!
Make, O!, make us Thine:
Heavenly. Divine.
Creaturely. Finite.
Transform us by Your will, till all
is image.
Make us beautiful art like
a reflection of Your visage, and
destroy us again
till the likeness is complete.
You alone are infinite. There
is no one to compete with the
standards of Your perfect, the pre-
-cision of Your lines. The jot,
the tiddle, the soundest plumbline.
We praise, we squeak, in
comparison to the rest of our time;
we hardly speak a splinter
of Your worth; and it is our crime. Innebriate
us with Your presence, but
with clarity for sure.
Because You long for us to understand
the practicality of Your lure in
comparison to every heartache, stomach
-ache or greed. There
is nothing You do not supply of
which our souls have need.
Come, let us lean upon
the yoke which is our light and
sturdy hope. We
walk not far; for in
our heart, eternity is
coursing with
the beating Lark of heaven,
the great propitation,
the Alpha child,
the dawn-inventor.
Yet You
still sing Your love
over
us,
unending
grace.
You still
intercede
forever
in our place.
Let us commune if
we dare.
Let Your fire consume us
there. Not a bone,
not a hair - let
dust be all that
remains. For
You are mightier
than a Sphynx and
require nothing to breathe life. Overcome
our stubbornness by inflicting strife if it may show
us the
narrow
way,
the holy fray:
to obey,
and obey.
Yes, O LORD, today.
Just today.
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