Rhyming sounds aside, she touched on something in our conversation that makes my heart react like a magnet that doesn't know which way is up. See, we were talking about this blog, and about how short the posts have been (forgiving the first flood, that is).
She talked about how she came to appreciate the format: the shortish posts that are refreshed decently frequently. We talked about how it communicates a kind of peace with only having a couple pieces. That we don't have to compose long, loquacious essays of brilliance and spiritual significance.
Then she said it: 'That's all the Lord gave you for the day.'
That right there, People, hit a cavity that's been fed sugar for a while.
In all honesty, it has felt pretty weird writing short posts, like I should have something more to offer. It also feeds an insecurity that I might have turned into one of those people who bark and whine on the internet. It doesn't help that I really don't know what I'm doing. In. so. many. ways. YOUDON'TEVENKNOW.
And that's one of the things about obedience that has always snagged my resistance: sometimes you don't know, but you have to do it anyways. Who knew parents' household hashtag would become the slogan of Nike?! Yet, no matter how many times that same argument went down, my heart nearly-almost-always responded "MAKE ME."
But over the years that cry of defiance has turned into a cry of desperation: Make me, Lord.
I need You to make me. Because most days I'm somewhere in this short post zone with flesh beating defiance in my veins, and the Most High God lovingly calling for me to beat down the flesh and die.
"Being found in appearance as a man, [Christ] humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross."
Philippians 2:8
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