Packing and Prepping

OK. So I don’t know if it’s my deranged sense of time speaking, or that the floodgates of memory and experience have opened and begun colliding like so many bumper cars or both and more?! But it feels like three days since I left my little apartment in Chattanooga, TN at 4:34am on Tuesday.

Why I left that early is fairly simple and unimportant, but no one really cares about how I wanted a cheaper set of tickets and was therefore willing to have a connection and also needed the layover to be at least 3 hrs in case something went wrong.

In an attempt to be a more productive adult,

not trusting myself to hear an alarm at such an unwanted time of the morning,

and feeling justified that I would not be able to fall asleep even if the attempt were made,

I confess my choice to pull an all-nighter.

There were plenty of things I wanted to do before leaving to keep me busy (like make a fresh batch of homemade toothpaste, and send work emails); and I certainly didn’t get all of them done even with the extra time.

As I reflected and remembered during those hours, the Lord gave me heaps of gratitude. One of the things I realized being grateful for is: fingernails.

Yup. You just read that right. I’m thankful for the icky, dirt-catching bits of keratin that we call fingernails. The kind that give a significant click when you clip, and are thick enough to go flying if you give them the opportunity.

When I came to Israel in 2009, I had an eating disorder. While the general population of people could see that I was skinny, the real issue was a heart issue (more on that later). Most of the arguments people used to point out as symptoms I was able to dismiss with arguments. As far as physical signs of intentional neglect, the only piece of evidence that I couldn’t argue with was my fingernails. They had become weak and easily ripped from the almost-four years of malnourishment and intentional neglect. 

So as I sat and quickly finished grooming my nails and painting them a sensible clear for the trip (because who wants to lug nail grooming supplies across the world to use them only once?), I smiled and thanked the Lord of restoration for this sign of His presence in my heart and mind, that was now manifesting in my body. 

Trust in the LORD with all your heart,

and do not lean on your own understanding.

In all your ways acknowledge him,

and he will make straight your paths.

Be not wise in your own eyes;

fear the LORD, and turn away from evil.

It will be healing to your flesh

and refreshment to your bones.

Proverbs 3:5-9